The Moment Success Stops Feeling Safe
I see you —I really do —because you look like me.
You’ve carried the load.
You’ve shown up.
You’ve earned the respect, the accolades, the “she can handle it,” or the dreaded “she’s so strong.”
And still, there it is: the ache that appears each time you’re doing the most. That restlessness, deep down in your bones, that creeps in, in between meetings, in the middle of the night, any time you begin contemplating slowing down.
It is often the faithful message in your head, “You’re not being productive. “
It’s actually your nervous system tapping you on the shoulder, whispering,
“Girl! We need to talk.”
The Moment Success Stops Feeling Safe
For years, you’ve lived in the go-state —high alert, high achievement, high everything.
You’ve been fueled by the octane called getting it done. When your tank begins to stutter, the instant feedback is: Quick is the only one you can easily access.
That revved-up motor belongs to your sympathetic nervous system, the part that pushes through deadlines, caretaking, grief, and pain. Her name is Exhausted Ella.
But one morning, your body lands like a broken elevator that descends through the floors lightning-fast and crashes to the bottom, with the quality of exhaustion, dizziness, and tears that feel old asl.
That’s the dorsal state, the shutdown, the crash that follows years of being “on.” We label it burnout, losing it, stuck, unusually overwhelming, drowning, and on and on.
What lives between the extremes is your ventral state — the rhythm of calm aliveness, connection, and curiosity.
That’s where your breath slows, your heartbeat slows, and you can hear, see, and feel hopeful.
“You weren’t designed to succeed at the cost of your soul. You were designed to lead from it.”
The Science That Speaks Your Language
Your body isn’t betraying you.
She’s brilliant and patient; she has been gathering data long before your mind catches up. Your being is searching for a map. A map that helps you remember that the ancient practices of your ancestors for returning to peace on the inside were grounded in prayer, rhythm, and rest.
It’s the body reminding you:
“Safety is sacred. And I’m learning to stop trading it for approval.”
When you stop fighting your biology, you start living from wisdom, not effort.
Small Steps
The Practice for Today
Listen for when your body says, “Not this.”
Maybe it’s a tightening before you agree to something you don’t want.
Maybe it’s the sigh that speaks before your “yes.”
Pause.
Inhale.
Exhale slowly, long enough to let your shoulders drop. Then quietly say:
“Rest is not rebellion, rest is recovery.”
What if this ache you’ve been trying to manage isn’t a breakdown — but your body’s invitation to begin again?
How will you answer her today?
Best kept secret; Midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s an initiation.
The pause you feel isn’t procrastination; it’s preparation for the next chapter of expanding peace throughout your mind, body, and spirit. Your nervous system is simply asking to lead the way.
Lisa Lackey, M.A., LCPC, CSAT, CMAT, is Co-Founder of Insideout Living and creator of The Second Knowing™ — a trauma-informed, spiritually grounded coaching experience for women ready to move from survival to embodiment.
