There was this one day, I curled into a ball, because the pain of change was so great. This ball became a shell of my own making. The shell became rock hard. 

Also,  in this place,  there was a sliver of light that caught My attention. It seemed so out of place, I began to doubt my sanity. How could a sane person possibly feel a measure of hope, while being in excruciating pain. Pain that found its way to emotional, and physical pain. Pain that at times, was passively okay, with not waking up. Light? 

All I could see was darkness all around me, in fact my eyes were adjusting to the darkness, so much so, I forgot it was dark. But, this sliver of light, was just noticeable enough, to spark curiosity.  Where was it coming from? I looked all around, I couldn’t locate the source. And then… I realized that the sliver of light was coming from within me.

As I focused on that sliver of light it began to grow and transcend the darkness. It began to reveal the messages of the darkness through the light. The darkness actually was drawing me toward and into the light. The light was not magical, in that it did not erase the darkness or its shadows. The light taught and counseled me through the unattended crevices and corners of my life. These crevices and corners were flanked by fear, it perched like a bouncer for an exclusive club. This light began to be my guide through certain ancient fears that existed long before I was. Light used fear to usher me into wisdom and certainty about the power of light. 

I began to uncurl, the shell began to crack, the light started melting the hardness. I could see my way out, the way out is  to go through. 

You see, the avoidance of pain led me down paths of going around, or trying to figure out short cuts. Each one of these paths only increased the pain, dimmed my view, and left me out of breath from running from the light. So exhausting. 

In case you didn’t know, you absolutely cannot outrun light, it’s always present. 

The only way out of pain, is to walk through the pain. 

What I most feared about walking through, was not knowing what was on the other side … the outcome. #notincontrol 

If you’re curled in a ball, enclosed in a shell, and your shell has become rock hard, and  you can only see darkness; look for the sliver of light. 

Signs of a sliver of light, while in darkness:

  •  Insight is perceptible to the sense of seeing, even if the details are separately invisible.

  • When you begin to see the rays within the light different options & lessons colored; as red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.

  • You’re looking around for where the sliver of light is coming from & recognize that even though you’re surrounded by darkness light is being emitted through you, and is reflected as enlightenment. 

  • The messy parts, even the putrefying area of your life have a sparkle, that moves you out of shame into gratitude.

Look for the sliver of light… 

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