When we hear the term “special needs,” we usually think of individuals who require assistance for disabilities that may be medical, mental, or psychological. I believe “special needs” encompasses an even larger group of individuals that may not have a diagnosis or accommodations. This group may include you, family members and others in the circles you find yourself in.
Many individuals have experienced problems of loss and separation that remain unresolved. We think of these losses as being in the past; however, they are very present in our day to day life. Some of us have told ourselves to “get over it”, “keep it movin’”, “everybody has problems,” and other lies we believed. The further back losses go, the more challenging it can be to recognize the current impact. Examples of losses can include:
At some point, it was easier to shove the feelings created by loss into the sub-basement, over in a corner, or under other piles, and we promised to deal with them later. Even when our conscious mind has given us the reprieve of forgetting or minimizing the impact of these losses, our stored feelings begin to seep out. This may include an inability to form lasting ties of intimacy, problems regarding task completion, phobias about success, difficulties with normal separations, living below our full potential, addictive behaviors, chronic busyness, controlling behaviors, psychiatric disorders, and many others. These experiences of loss that go unacknowledged and unprocessed disable us from living to our fullest potential. External indicators are not the measure of our realized potential. The true measure of our realized potential is more based on our internal serenity, our level of response versus reaction, our willingness to admit our challenges, and our commitment to growth.
We have special needs and require accommodations, if we’ve taken hits in life that scarred, but did not heal. There are times when a scar grows and can become even larger than the wound. Our healing requires topical and internal accommodations.
Participating in a community of support
Revealing the secrets that keep us feeling shame
Accountable friendships that will challenge and hold your feet to the fire